First Impressions Needed: "Lion-Daughter Nicole"

1 month ago | AtiyaTheSeeker (Member)

So after a long while of fiddling around with a setting and it not getting anywhere, I'd finally decided to begin my writing as a web serial. Am penning a novella of sorts based around some characters and a setting of mine, but I don't think I'm even so much of an amateur writer by any means.

I feel I've got a lot of work to do to make the story work out -- especially in the dedication department -- and as such I'm looking for advice on what I've got thus far. Currently I'm three chapters in, with a scrapped version of the 2nd chapter rotting away in a folder somewhere on my PC. The story is meant to be a fantasy tale in a more light-hearted 'sword-and-sorcery' fashion: personal adventures in a bronze-age-esque world. That said, I wouldn't dare describe it as anything historically accurate. Also, the main character happen to be a lion-girl.

The description for said story on the site I've got it posted at right now is as follows: "Meet Nicole, a leonine young woman living in an age of myth and monsters. Daughter of a late warrior father and a healer mother, Nicole dreams of going on great adventures like her father before her. Alongside her childhood friend (fresh from basic training in the city-state's military) and the fey being whose plight incites her to quest, these short stories chronicle her tales".

The story thus far can be found at: https://www.wattpad.com/story/108775227-lion-daughter-nicole

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Responses

  1. revfitz (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Would this be something that interests you? http://forums.webfictionguide.com/topic/first-impressions-need-volunteers

    Existential Terror and Breakfast--A serial with cereal.
    Updates Wednesdays at: revfitz.com
  2. Maromar (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Huh.This was a solid read, I enjoyed it.

    There is some chewy dialogue and mundane narrative flow sprinkled about, but not nearly enough to dissuade my interest.The way that you interpose your lore with the narration, dialogue, and actual character actions makes your world more tangible than many. By chapter three, I was itching to find out more about the history of Nicole's city-state as well as that of the forest clan.

    When this gets listed, feel free to drop me a PM, I'll leave you a nice review. (And I've posted the above paragraphs on the wattpad entry, there's no reason for you to not have any comments.)

    Keep being awesome.

    The first step to becoming a hero is being mulched by a truck: https://mysticnanblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/spark-i/
  3. revfitz (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Hey, just wanted to let you know that my post on this up! You can find it here: http://revfitz.com/day-twenty-four-lion-daughter-nichole/

    I'm sorry it took so long, I hope I was able to send a couple readers your way!

    Existential Terror and Breakfast--A serial with cereal.
    Updates Wednesdays at: revfitz.com
  4. Maromar (Member)

    Posted 3 weeks ago

    My apologies for the delay, but I finally sat down to give Lion Daughter Nicole its promised review. I didn't quite feel like waiting for it to get approved. (https://maromarswritingrepository.wordpress.com/2017/06/06/web-fiction-review-lion-daughter-nicole/) I'll port it over when that happens.

    The first step to becoming a hero is being mulched by a truck: https://mysticnanblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/spark-i/

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