Looking for Feedback on The Iron Teeth

5 years ago | ClearMadness (Member)

My web serial has been running for a while now and matured, kind of, so I'm looking to get some feedback on it from some more experienced writers. In particular, I'm concerned about the first book of my serial and how it holds up as a self contained story. I'm looking to publish an e-book soon/eventually so that is important. Any other tips or critiques would be welcome as well.



Author of The Iron Teeth, a online dark fantasy story.

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  1. Team Contract (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I haven't read all of your first book, but I've read your prologue and intro chapter and it is strong. Your following as a webserial and the comments speak for themselves. I think you have a good product. My only advice, after pro editing/cover etc (which I'm sure you've already done) would be to ensure you market it well. @leoduhvinci recommended https://www.yourfirst10kreaders.com/ and it totally changed my strategy and perspective for selling ebooks through amazon.

    If people love your material as much as they do now, once you tap into that same like minded audience through amazon, your audience should only grow. Look how well Delvers LLC has taken off. Plus look at your success thus far. You're top rated on RRL, stuck in the #1 spot. You've got patrons earning you $500 a month. You're doing better than 99% of the people writing web serials on this site.

    So I say just go for it, man. The only thing your have to fear is more success. And managing a huge email list!

    Rock on!

  2. SovereignofAshes (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago


    Obviously, I'm not a more experienced writer than yourself, so I don't want to get in the way of the feedback you're asking for. I just want to throw in a few comments though amidst the help you'll get.

    As TeamContract stated above, your story is solid. I've been checking in on it infrequently over the last few months. I agree that the beginning of your first set is great. All I can really say is that some of the later chapters might need some more polish, but that's just because they are new and I know you're trying to keep up with a deadline in releases. With time those will get just as polished. You're ready for the pro-editing part, getting in touch with an editor to do a few sweeps and you're set.

    I like your cover as it is, but that's just me. If you can get another cover with another artist (or the old one) to spruce that up, too. You're on your way.

    Just wanted to say that it was your story (Iron Teeth) that made me want to try out the web serial format. Also the same reason I decided to give Royal Road L a shot as well, and for -trying- to get into your TOPA group. You're the Nouveau-Wildbow. You're already at the plateau that a lot of us newbs would like to get to one day.

    In short, remember you're on solid ground. Don't get any cold feet or doubt yourself. Once you break into Amazon, I'm quite certain you're set. Just do what you feel you need to before you take the plunge.

    Thanks for your hard work and keep it up. There are a lot of us here interested in and watching out for you and your work.

    I have stuff on here too! The Vorrgistadt Saga.
  3. Is_Generally_Hostile (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I'm not any kind of experienced, as a writer, but I'll give your first book a read. Not sure how long it'll take me, but I'll give you my thoughts when I get done. I'm really looking forward to it, I assume if you've got that $500 a month coming in then it's pretty good.

    Check out my shitty web serial at http://TheComatoseGirl.wordpress.com
  4. ClearMadness (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Thanks, everyone. I'm just very nervous about releasing my story as an e-book. :P

    Author of The Iron Teeth, a online dark fantasy story.
  5. Alexander.Hollins (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    have you considered a professional editor before publication? Danielle Poiesz at http://doublevisioneditorial.com/ is excellent. Seeing her listed as editor has tipped my mind several times to buy a book I almost passed up.

  6. Chrysalis (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Definitely yes to editing. And a professional looking cover.

    Anathema, a web serial about the effect superpowers would have on our world. http://anathemaserial.wordpress.com/
  7. ClearMadness (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I'm definitely getting a new cover for my amazon release and professional editing.

    Author of The Iron Teeth, a online dark fantasy story.
  8. Chrysalis (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Maybe consider adding a subtitle or series name (if it's a series) that tells readers at a glance what the story is about. It doesn't have to be readable on the thumbnail cover. Something like... 'a dark Goblin Adventure' or 'Dark Goblin Fantasy', 'Goblin Wars' or... something less lame than my suggestions. XD That way you'll get more clicks from readers who have a special interest in (dark) Fantasy with nonhuman POVs.

    By the way, when I change my covers I'll also change my series name from Anathema to Anti Heroes for the same reason. Because 'Anathema' tells the reader nothing. 'Anti Heroes' immediately attracts clicks from readers who, well, like anti heroes.

    Anathema, a web serial about the effect superpowers would have on our world. http://anathemaserial.wordpress.com/
  9. Is_Generally_Hostile (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I just finished the first book and I thought it was excellent. Fairly quick easy read chunks and interesting enough I wanted to come back for more.

    I personally don't think the first book has a strong enough end to stand alone. Nothing felt resolved, there's still plenty of action happening, loads of questions about what just happened. This definitely isn't bad, I want to keep reading so I feel like it's set up perfectly to entice the reader to continue.

    Again, you're much more experienced than I am and I don't really have any constructive advice to give about how to accomplish your goal of making book one stand alone.

    All in all, I love what I've read so far and I think it'll do great once your publish it.

    Check out my shitty web serial at http://TheComatoseGirl.wordpress.com


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