Review Request: Mavericks

2 months ago | Joker (Member)

Howdy folks! My web serial Mavericks(https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/) is in the middle of its first arc. I'm a huge comic book reader and, inspired by the success of superhero web fiction, decided to throw my hat into the ring. I should note that while ultimately optimistic in tone, this is not intended for young readers. There is intense, often visceral violence, strong language, plenty of drug use and non-explicit sexual content. Be advised.

My website is here https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/. Feedback of any type would be greatly appreciated.

Mavericks - A Superhero Web Serial: https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/

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Responses

  1. Joker (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    http://webfictionguide.com/listings/mavericks/

    My listing is finally up, wew!

    Mavericks - A Superhero Web Serial: https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/
  2. BGHilton (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    I'll give it a go. I'm on holiday and WiFi isn't great so no promises on timeframe but I think I can give it a go.

  3. Joker (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Thanks :)

    Mavericks - A Superhero Web Serial: https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/
  4. BGHilton (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Hello! Sorry this is taking so long, but just letting you know I'm still on it -- should have a review up shortly. I've had much less web-surfing time than I usually get while on holiday, so my apologies for the delay. Just so you know where I'm at so far:

    What I like:
    1. The villain. Rebecca is one of the most interestingly characterised female supervillains I can remember reading about. The scene where she tries and fails to muscle the council is a fascinating insight. I'm still not quite sure just what drives her to do what she does, but I'm very curious to learn.
    2. The relationship between Jessica and Rebecca is fascinating -- half mother/daughter rivalry, half Frankenstein story. I'd really like to see this explored more.
    3. The setting. You may not go into a huge depth of detail when describing Blackburn, but I find you really communicate a great feel for the place.

    What I don't like:
    1. Some of the dialogue. The dialogue is highly variable in quality. Sometimes it seems quite natural, sometimes very stilted. I find a good technique with dialogue is to read it out loud and see how it sounds when it's actually spoken.
    2. POV. Your use of omniscient narrator usually works well, but sometimes you shift focus without warning and it can be confusing.
    3. Length of chapters. This is probably the most subjective of my complaints, but I think web serials work better with short, punchy chapters. It's easier for the reader (particularly if they're reading off a phone) and it also helps to keep up the pace.

    I hope that's helpful. I should be able to finish the last couple of chapters over the next day or two, so hopefully I can have a review by the weekend.

  5. Joker (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Don't worry, take your time! I'm not going anywhere :) I'll go ahead and address some of your points.

    1. I'm glad you like Rebecca! Other than a few furthers hints I'll drop near the end of the story, most of the clues are already there for you to turn over. The question isn't so much what made Rebecca snap, rather, it's why was it enough to make her snap. A question I'll explore more with her daughter in coming arcs.

    2. Unfortunately, you're not going to get much more Jessica/Rebecca interaction. An unfortunate side-effect of the story's placement in the timeline. Hopefully her next, true rival will be even better...

    3. Funny you mentioned that, I'm actually in the process of re-working Blackburn's map as we speak. It's in an interesting city, with inspiration from a dozen cities and some unique elements all of its own. All you've really seen so far is parts of a quarter of the city ;)

    4. Unfortunately, I feel inconsistent dialogue quality is a con of having multiple writers, but I will do my best to take that advice.

    5. I do my best to make POV shifts smooth, but some shifts are unavoidable. Any tips on how to make those shifts less confusing?

    6. I usually aim for around ten pages a chapter, but sometimes it comes up short or flows over.

    Mavericks - A Superhero Web Serial: https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/
  6. BGHilton (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    Fair enough. I was really quite impressed with Blackburn. I'm not 100% familiar with US cities, and I assumed it was a real place -- which is probably the highest compliment I can give to a setting.

    Not sure what I can say re POV changes. Most of yours are signaled with asterixes, but there are occasionally confusing changes where you have multiple POV characters in the same scene. I usually go for 1st person or close 3rd person precisely so as to avoid these sorts of mid-scene shifts, so I don't have any good advice for dealing with them in omniscient 3rd.

    Anyway, the review is up now, and it's mostly positive. There are no complaints I haven't warned you about, but a few extra compliments.

  7. Joker (Member)

    Posted 1 month ago

    You flatter me. Mainland Blackburn could be anywhere between Tampa and Miami, but Vicio is entirely fictional - the only island large enough looks nothing like it in our world.

    Thanks for the review!

    Mavericks - A Superhero Web Serial: https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/

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