Review Request: Mists of Kel Doran

Page: 12

Responses

  1. TanaNari (Member)

    Posted 7 months ago

    Yeah, the edited version is a whole lot cleaner. Fix the rest of it and I'll have to rework my review.

    Author of Price.
  2. Rhythm (Member)

    Posted 7 months ago

    Oh, there was one thing that seemed relevant to mention. You know the concept art you have on your page? Well, I took a look at some of it, and there are a few concerns. For one, you don't seem to have credited the artists, which is generally considered a dick move, but when you do it on a monetized site, it can actually get you in a lot of trouble. That's why a lot of online fiction is actually pretty sparse when it comes to pictures. I'm not saying you did this intentionally. I'm sure it was an honest mistake and that you just wanted to share a collection of things you found cool, but it could get you in trouble, especially when some of the art you're using appears to be re-skinned artwork from Dungeons and Dragons guidebooks, which means you could wind up pissing off a big company like Wizards of the coast (Cuz that art's actually kinda theirs). I would recommend that, at bare minimum, you explicitly state at the top of that page that the artwork isn't yours and that it's just a gallery of stuff other people have done that you think is neat.

  3. smatthews65 (Member)

    Posted 7 months ago

    TanaNari: Already on it! :)

    Rhythm: I try to get most of my stuff from royalty free sites like Pixabay...but I've also noticed that some of the art could potentially belong to someone else. I'll definitely dig into that and ensure I'm not stepping on anyone's toes.

    Again, I appreciate both of your input...thanks for helping me take these first steps.

    Mists of Kel Doran Online Novel
    http://www.mistsofkeldoran.com/novel
  4. Docmars (Member)

    Posted 7 months ago

    hi so I finished my review and I just kinda want to say I think liked it the most, but i have some serious issues with it.

  5. smatthews65 (Member)

    Posted 7 months ago

    Thank you for your time, Docmars.

    For what it's worth, I've 'republished' the first 5 chapters, replacing the old content altogether. For the sake of reviewers and potential readers, I didn't want everyone rehashing the older, re-written content.

    I'm embarrassed to say, over the course of 5 chapters, I've shaved off around 4600 words (and another 1100 off Ch6). I would say that assessment of my writing was pretty spot on...so thank you, Rhythm and TanaNari, for that. I've also added a few subtle hooks to tie the 3 Wyvern's Rest story lines together...or at least show their correlation with one another.

    Mists of Kel Doran Online Novel
    http://www.mistsofkeldoran.com/novel
  6. Docmars (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    Nothing to be embarrassed by

  7. Rhythm (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    It's good to see you improving so rapidly, really.

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