Review Request/Swap: Desert Steel

5 years ago | Deadpansmirk (Member)

This is my first time writing a web serial, so I'd love to see some reviews. I also have a lot of free time right now, so review swaps will be no problem. Please give it a look and tell me what you think!

Read responses...

Page: 124


  1. Jim Zoetewey (Moderator)

    Posted 5 years ago

    You might want to include a link to your serial. I suspect I saw it on the front page with the other newly listed serials, but it's kinder not to count on people remembering that.

  2. Deadpansmirk (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

  3. Deadpansmirk (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    oh, and the webfictionguide page is

  4. TanaNari (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Sure, I need something for my traditional weekend review.

    Also- I usually just click the user profile and find the story in question that way.

    Author of Price.
  5. Whyknotzoidberg (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I'm down if you are since I just finished red house down.

  6. Khronosabre (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    I told myself I'd try giving back to this community a bit more so why not? Gotta start somewhere and I like your title.

    You don't have to read or review Caelum Lex. Unless you really want to. And you have a LOT of time on your hands haha.

  7. Deadpansmirk (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    @TanaNari and @whyknotzoidberg great thanks. I'll start reading yours straight away!
    @Khronosabre thanks I'll give yours a look, but I might not get around to reviewing it.

  8. TanaNari (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Beware that mine is far darker than most... something like a hybrid of "Spawn" and "Game of Thrones". Maybe a helping of Boondock Saints for fun and profit and based (very) loosely on Arthurian mythos.

    And I mean the unsanitized version of the Arthurian mythos.

    Author of Price.
  9. Whyknotzoidberg (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago


    Holy shit dude nice. I'm writing a glowing review right now. You sir, can fucking write.

  10. Whyknotzoidberg (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Have you written anything before this?

  11. Deadpansmirk (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    @Whyknotzoidberg thanks! I really appreciate you saying that. I've just posted my review too. I didn't list the any of the typos in the review, but I figured I'd give you some feedback here:
    Purser (ch 4), meat instead of meet (ch 5), m rcifully (ch 6), u (ch 7) gaurd (ch 11) seamed instead of seemed (ch 12).
    There were some I missed as well, but I hope this helps.
    I dabbled in writing but none of it's ever been published.
    @Tananari no problem, dark doesn't bother me. Yours will take a bit longer to review due to its greater lengths but I think I can say expect it within a week.

  12. Whyknotzoidberg (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Thanks, I site on an ipadvand autocorrect can murder me sometimes.

  13. TanaNari (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Yeah. I'm nearing completion of the book (probably roughly 10 chapters left... it's impossible to know for sure). So. There is that.

    My review's not going to be as nice as Zoid's... to start with, you go a little heavy on the purple prose and need help with your sentence structure.

    I saw this baby recommended here and now I recommend it to pretty much everyone.

    I can't begin to describe how much this thing's improved my last ten or twelve chapters. I'll be using it religiously in the rewrite to complete the book.

    Everything else looks excellent, however.

    Author of Price.
  14. Whyknotzoidberg (Member)

    Posted 5 years ago

    Oh yea also, I literally just posted a new chapter, where the mcs actually meet for the first time, don't know if that would affect anything or not. And that Hemingway app is gold btw.


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