Roast your story

6 months ago | AdamBolander (Member)

Here's a fun thread I'm stealing from the WattPad forums. Roast your own story.

Staying Human: A girl decides it's better to turn into a cat than to look for a cure and stay human, because turning into a cat means she gets to make out with a dude who's going to be a dog in a few days. Logic!

Amber Silverblood: This guy was channeling his inner James Patterson while writing this. This book is so Maximum Ride it hurts. And no, that's not a compliment.

The Slayer and the Sphinx: First a catgirl, then werewolves, and now a guy falls in love with a sphinx. Literally, a sphinx. Girl's head, lion's body. Also wings, because she's not not-human enough already. Author's a furry, no matter how many times he says he isn't.

Juryokine: TWIST. VILLAIN. OBVIOUS. FROM. FIRST. CHAPTER. Also, the main character's name is Toke. Yeah. You can tell what the author was doing while writing this.
_(I'm just kidding. I don't do drugs)
_(Also I'm not a furry. Seriously.)__

Juryokine: Exile of Heroes: The bad guy is driving the plot, and he only makes, like, four appearances. Everything else is Toke wondering if he wants to marry the half naked chick who keeps throwing herself at him. The main character's name is still Toke, if you wondering.

The Gray Ranger: Unforgiven: Oh, suuure. Nobody's ever read a high fantasy cowboy story, so that means it's _OBVIOUSLY_ a good idea, and not desperately hipsterish. The main heroine (such as she is) has fur, a tail, and long pointy ears. The author goes into a lot of detail about how having her tail out is considered nudity. Because he's _not_ a furry. Nope.

Magnus Knights: The Iron Trials (WIP): STOP REWRITING IT AND FINISH THE FREAKING BOOK ALREADY GEEZ DADGUM AND DOG FARTS!

Author of The Gray Ranger, The Slayer and The Sphinx, Juryokine, Amber Silverblood, and more! Read for free on http://www.bolanderbooks.com

Read responses...

Page: 12

Responses

  1. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    You know, I didn't actually figure out who the villain was in Juryokine until the reveal chapter. Then again, I guess I wasn't really trying to puzzle it out.

  2. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    Graven: Random Powerset Wheel: the Series. Episode One: Well That Was Fast!, or How To Compress Ten Novels Worth Of Material Into One Novella.

  3. LadyAnder (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    Hy'Ruh-ha: It's not even fantasy. Who is the villain. What is the central conflict of this novel? Oh it's slice-of-life. Pure garbage about religious elves that don't act like elves. It sucks; burn it.

    Fight Song:(not listed yet as it's not posted yet) She wrote more?!?! It's a sequel! Well this terrible story has a chance to not exist. The author has spent a year re-writing and still isn't finished. Garbage writer.

    A cross-genre slice=of-life, some adventure fluff fantasy stories about elves--> https://brotherhoodarchive.com
  4. Shaeor (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    Dirge: So there's an infinite number of universes but we're stuck in a half-baked magical school? The mysterious protagonist is mysterious, fine. But why am I spending all this time before even meeting them? Not to mention, I can't make out an overarching story and now they're practically playing capture the flag. I have no flipping idea what's going on and neither does the author. Cue secret plot to fix that.

    Chosen Shackles: Well this might as well be a still life painting. If it weren't for the revetting quest to locate a lost pet, drenched in existential angst and misery porn, I might just think this was a complete waste of my time. I can't wait until the protagonist actually impacts the world- oh, nevermind, it's done. Well, at least we had alliteration.

    @AdamBolander Deeeeefinitely not a Furry.

    CHOSEN SHACKLES The screen is running static. Face your shadow.
    DIRGE The light is dying. Hold your breath and go gently.
  5. AdamBolander (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    @Shaeor, As hard as it is to believe, I'm really not. Beast Boy's shapeshifting in Teen Titans was always my dream superpower. It's like the combo deal of superpowers. Super strength, flight, heightened senses, underwater breathing, stealth, it has it all. So I look for any reason to give my characters shape shifting powers.

    As for characters like in Slayer/Sphinx and Gray Ranger, well... have you ever noticed how most nonhuman races in books and movies can be summed up with "They're humans but..."? Elves are humans, but they have long ears. Dwarves are humans, but they're short. Orcs are humans, but they have big teeth and green skin. I figure if you want to really be creative with your races and species, you need to move away from that and make them less obviously human. Fur and tails are one of the easiest ways to do that, I think.

    Author of The Gray Ranger, The Slayer and The Sphinx, Juryokine, Amber Silverblood, and more! Read for free on http://www.bolanderbooks.com
  6. Admiralmonkeyman (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    Fuji: We start off instantly with a kid dying "Not edgy at all." Then we establish an antagonist and kill him in the span of THREE chapters. Another angsty and mysterious protagonist with a "dark past.", now in a shamelessly plagiarized version of the abridged attack on titan script. The only main plot is that the magical sun waifu has gone missing and we aren't even exploring it 20 thousand words in. I don't think we're doing much with 'all that potential' it apparently had.

    https://fujiserial.wordpress.com/ - Ash covers the land as snow. The embers of a forgotten time have died out. All that’s left is us and the dark.
  7. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    You know, it's funny, I'm not a furry either, and yet I've still gone out of my way to world build anthros and demihumans in my erotic settings. Make of that what you will, I guess.

  8. Shaeor (Member)

    Posted 6 months ago

    @adambolander lol I believe you, just playing to the joke.

    CHOSEN SHACKLES The screen is running static. Face your shadow.
    DIRGE The light is dying. Hold your breath and go gently.
  9. Joker (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    Mavericks: What kind of villain name is Skinnyman? Am I really trying to sell some emaciated hobo who hangs out with college kids in dirty old warehouses as the arc villain of a superhero serial? But it's not like a loser whose 'superpower' is kicking and oversized tasers is going to stop him. All these characters are weak and lame and would get trashed by any other serial's protagonist. Don't read this trash.

    Oh, and Wilbur isn't funny, he's just cringy.

    Mavericks - With friends like these, who needs enemies?
    https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/
  10. sunflowerofice (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    Technically abroad: A person finds themselves in another world? Oh, that's original. Next you're going to tell me that he gets some special power or magic. Wait he has no magic? Well still he has to have something that makes him seem strong. Oh a playing card....... we all know that will become op later.

  11. TheWiseVixen (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    Everyday Life: Oh, great! Another supernatural vampire romance was written by some romance junky! What's this crap about magic resulting from personal fulfillment? Can you get any more cliche? Whatever... As long as the vampires don't sparkle in the freakin' sun.

    Everyday Life of a Modern Witch: https://thewisevixen.wordpress.com/
  12. ElliottThomasStaude (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    The Simulacrum of Dread: The protagonist is a sadist, the world is eleven kinds of too complicated, every answer brings more questions, every question brings more confusion, and what kind of title is that supposed to be, anyway? Is the dude writing this a legitimate psychopath? How many different species can fit on the head of a pin? WHY DO THEY GO TO FRANCE!?

    If you've a head for holistic science fantasy, the Library may oblige: https://www.thomas-generalized-recountings-library.com
    If you've a dislike for lengthy names, I'm so sorry.
  13. Joker (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    Mavericks Volume 2: The sequel that no one asked for! The main protagonist is an annoying side character from the first volume that suddenly has superpowers despite there only being one tiny hint in volume one that could have meant anything. She's a jerk that keeps pushing her friends away, but at least she's not as lame as the villain. The villain is her evil twin. Yes, I'm THAT much of a hack.

    Wilbur still isn't funny, and Jessica is a hipster. Definitely don't read this.

    Mavericks - With friends like these, who needs enemies?
    https://mavericksserial.wordpress.com/
  14. Megajoule (Member)

    Posted 5 months ago

    Inheritors: i'll take angst with a side of darkness please, extra dead characters that I didn't know what to do with so I killed them, yeah thanks. Can you hold the exposition so the acronyms don't make sense? Thanks

    https://inheritorsserial.com / a clone of the greatest superhero in the world, with only a fraction of the power

Reply »

You must log in to post.