Roast your story

2 weeks ago | AdamBolander (Member)

Here's a fun thread I'm stealing from the WattPad forums. Roast your own story.

Staying Human: A girl decides it's better to turn into a cat than to look for a cure and stay human, because turning into a cat means she gets to make out with a dude who's going to be a dog in a few days. Logic!

Amber Silverblood: This guy was channeling his inner James Patterson while writing this. This book is so Maximum Ride it hurts. And no, that's not a compliment.

The Slayer and the Sphinx: First a catgirl, then werewolves, and now a guy falls in love with a sphinx. Literally, a sphinx. Girl's head, lion's body. Also wings, because she's not not-human enough already. Author's a furry, no matter how many times he says he isn't.

Juryokine: TWIST. VILLAIN. OBVIOUS. FROM. FIRST. CHAPTER. Also, the main character's name is Toke. Yeah. You can tell what the author was doing while writing this.
_(I'm just kidding. I don't do drugs)
_(Also I'm not a furry. Seriously.)__

Juryokine: Exile of Heroes: The bad guy is driving the plot, and he only makes, like, four appearances. Everything else is Toke wondering if he wants to marry the half naked chick who keeps throwing herself at him. The main character's name is still Toke, if you wondering.

The Gray Ranger: Unforgiven: Oh, suuure. Nobody's ever read a high fantasy cowboy story, so that means it's _OBVIOUSLY_ a good idea, and not desperately hipsterish. The main heroine (such as she is) has fur, a tail, and long pointy ears. The author goes into a lot of detail about how having her tail out is considered nudity. Because he's _not_ a furry. Nope.

Magnus Knights: The Iron Trials (WIP): STOP REWRITING IT AND FINISH THE FREAKING BOOK ALREADY GEEZ DADGUM AND DOG FARTS!

Author of The Gray Ranger, The Slayer and The Sphinx, Juryokine, Amber Silverblood, and more! Read for free on http://www.bolanderbooks.com

Read responses...

Responses

  1. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    You know, I didn't actually figure out who the villain was in Juryokine until the reveal chapter. Then again, I guess I wasn't really trying to puzzle it out.

  2. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    Graven: Random Powerset Wheel: the Series. Episode One: Well That Was Fast!, or How To Compress Ten Novels Worth Of Material Into One Novella.

  3. LadyAnder (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    Hy'Ruh-ha: It's not even fantasy. Who is the villain. What is the central conflict of this novel? Oh it's slice-of-life. Pure garbage about religious elves that don't act like elves. It sucks; burn it.

    Fight Song:(not listed yet as it's not posted yet) She wrote more?!?! It's a sequel! Well this terrible story has a chance to not exist. The author has spent a year re-writing and still isn't finished. Garbage writer.

    A cross-genre fantasy stories about elves-->http://brotherhoodarchive.com
  4. Shaeor (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    Dirge: So there's an infinite number of universes but we're stuck in a half-baked magical school? The mysterious protagonist is mysterious, fine. But why am I spending all this time before even meeting them? Not to mention, I can't make out an overarching story and now they're practically playing capture the flag. I have no flipping idea what's going on and neither does the author. Cue secret plot to fix that.

    Chosen Shackles: Well this might as well be a still life painting. If it weren't for the revetting quest to locate a lost pet, drenched in existential angst and misery porn, I might just think this was a complete waste of my time. I can't wait until the protagonist actually impacts the world- oh, nevermind, it's done. Well, at least we had alliteration.

    @AdamBolander Deeeeefinitely not a Furry.

    CHOSEN SHACKLES The screen is running static. Face your shadow.
    DIRGE The light is dying. Hold your breath and go gently.
  5. AdamBolander (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    @Shaeor, As hard as it is to believe, I'm really not. Beast Boy's shapeshifting in Teen Titans was always my dream superpower. It's like the combo deal of superpowers. Super strength, flight, heightened senses, underwater breathing, stealth, it has it all. So I look for any reason to give my characters shape shifting powers.

    As for characters like in Slayer/Sphinx and Gray Ranger, well... have you ever noticed how most nonhuman races in books and movies can be summed up with "They're humans but..."? Elves are humans, but they have long ears. Dwarves are humans, but they're short. Orcs are humans, but they have big teeth and green skin. I figure if you want to really be creative with your races and species, you need to move away from that and make them less obviously human. Fur and tails are one of the easiest ways to do that, I think.

    Author of The Gray Ranger, The Slayer and The Sphinx, Juryokine, Amber Silverblood, and more! Read for free on http://www.bolanderbooks.com
  6. Admiralmonkeyman (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    Fuji: We start off instantly with a kid dying "Not edgy at all." Then we establish an antagonist and kill him in the span of THREE chapters. Another angsty and mysterious protagonist with a "dark past.", now in a shamelessly plagiarized version of the abridged attack on titan script. The only main plot is that the magical sun waifu has gone missing and we aren't even exploring it 20 thousand words in. I don't think we're doing much with 'all that potential' it apparently had.

    https://fujiserial.wordpress.com/ - Ash covers the land as snow. The embers of a forgotten time are dying out. All that’s left is us and the dark.
  7. Sharkerbob (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    You know, it's funny, I'm not a furry either, and yet I've still gone out of my way to world build anthros and demihumans in my erotic settings. Make of that what you will, I guess.

  8. Shaeor (Member)

    Posted 2 weeks ago

    @adambolander lol I believe you, just playing to the joke.

    CHOSEN SHACKLES The screen is running static. Face your shadow.
    DIRGE The light is dying. Hold your breath and go gently.

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