I suppose this is what I get for checking on my phone before I go to bed; I had to get up to reply to this.
First off, right away, no, I am not fretting about some kind of counterattack. I simply mentioned it because it's an illogical fear that (and this is inaccurate, but the best way to explain the ephemeral that I have right now) the universe will somehow conspire against me. You get what you give and all that. It had nothing to do with any actual logical fears that people were going to review me into oblivion. It was meant as a kind of joke. Like "haha, this is what my subconscious is giving me; let's all laugh about how silly it is."
I read over the review shortly after I posted it and you're right about the "utterly fail" part; it was a wee bit harsh. (Unfortunately, it seems you can't edit reviews once posted?) However, I don't feel that terms like "horrible slog" or "Plot Armor" are loaded or lazy. They're useful shorthand to quickly get my point across, rather than have even more of a meandering mess explaining in several sentences what I can do in two phrases. People misusing them is rather irrelevant; people misuse "literally" all the time, and I still use it properly. Besides, I'd rather write a succinct review that can quickly relay "would I like to read this?" to a potential reader, rather than an epic ballad that might be skipped over by someone looking for a quick, useful review.
Perhaps this is the wrong style for Web Fiction Guide, to write a review in order to answer "should I read this?" but it certainly doesn't seem to be the case. (Please note, that wasn't sarcasm; I am literally considering the possibility that I am not understanding what a review should be here, as opposed to say, Goodreads or Amazon.) For example, I'd write a much different review if I were talking to you directly, Wildbow.
I also disagree on the need for structure. Each paragraph makes a point about how I felt about certain things. I tend to be a pretty chaotic individual anyway, and this is how my thoughts work. It seems easiest to simply state things, rather than go back and turn it into an essay. I'm not trying to be eloquent or entertain, I'm simply informing a potential reader and maybe the author about one person's opinion. And in short a time as possible.
Part of the incoherence is because I was trying to avoid spoilers and communicate points without giving anything away, honestly. My thoughts became a little muddled when I was trying to phrase things around specific examples and ended up not using them.
Repeating myself? I tend to do that. Sometimes it's to sum up. Other times it's to drive a point home. And others, I just plain forgot I already said something. So combined, yeah, it can be a little excessive. (You should have seen my review before I edited it. Haha.)
As for contradictions, I don't really see it, but then again, I know what I'm saying. It might not be clear to a casual observer. xD Happens with me a lot. (I thank my partner for proofreading my writing quite a bit.) Still, it's not that I don't know what I'm saying, it's that part of me believes both things.
But no. Really, you're partially right that it could have been less harsh. Old habit from high school and college that I haven't gotten over. Being wishy-washy got you Cs and Bs, after all. But be a being of conviction and you had professors eating out of the palm of your hand. Haha. But I still disagree with calling it a slog as being something to be avoided. If it was a slog for me, I'm going to call it a slog.
Anywhoooooo... that was rather long. xD Don't feel like I'm upset or anything; I just felt your post warranted a full response, and I'm rather curious on your thoughts on my thoughts on your thoughts on my review. Of course, if you're simply saying that things might not go over well with others if I'm so brazen, I can agree. Like I said, I could have been less harsh, though perhaps not as gentle as you think I should be.
Chrysalis Thanks for the observation, darlin'! That's totally what I was looking for; if it was just my perception or if there was some major imbalance going on here. Good to know it's the former.
DJ Clarke Oh gods yeah. That's pretty basic critique etiquette which I love when I don't know how to structure a critique. It's far from the only way, but it's a great one. (Gods bless those painting classes. xD) This also came in really handy for when I started tutoring; you can still tell them exactly what they did wrong, but immediately shore up their confidences by giving them more praise. Did wonders for my conscience. x.X