The point of this thread: to tell this story to some folks who might have had the same problem, at some point.
This is going to be slightly incoherent, I think. I write this story called Tapestry, over here: http://wsteria.livejournal.com and last night, I wrote up a segment that'd been holding me up for months. In it, the main character and her husband have a knock-down, drag-out fight. Without the knocking down or dragging out - no physical confrontation. Just a lot of shouting.
Anyway, the problem that came up is that a friend of mine found it a mite (more than a mite) triggering. It was their break point, at which point they just didn't like the main character's husband anymore. He had Gone Too Far. It was Not On.
I don't even disagree - he said a good many things that were absolutely horrific. It's just startling, because it didn't change my opinion of him one jot - I expected it of him, and thought that it was fine. Sev, the husband, and Suki, the narrator, live in a medieval/feudal setting where it is to be expected that they both grew up with certain expectations of what a husband and wife act like. For their time period / country / whatnot, he's progressive as all get out for never hitting her. Still, I can't use that as an excuse with someone who's viewing it from a modern standpoint - 'well, he did tell her to go die on the streets like a whore, but he didn't hit her.' That does /not/ make it all better, man.
What makes it better, in my head, is that back when they were first married, Sev and Suki worked really hard to figure out how they were going to relate to each other, given that he wanted to rebel against the man and be decent to his wife, and she wanted to be feminine (by her standards). So they worked out, in their way, what amounts to a dominant/submissive framework. And she did not safeword out during their fight, and could have. By both their standards, all is cool (well, kinda touchy because they just had a fight, but cool).
But on the other hand, I freaked a close friend right out with something I wrote, after being pretty happy to have started writing again after a long hiatus. That sucks pretty hard, right there.