I am having one of those months...

You know the kind. The kind of month when you hate everything you do and everything you are and you look at the words you've written and think "this is shit. This is all shit, which is why you're not breaking through because if it weren't shit then people would notice but it is." And then you stare at the words some more, stare at them until you hate them, hate every word you've ever written, hate every word anyone has ever written, hate all languages, hate the inborn desire to communicate so you play a video game and it makes you feel better for a while until you realize that you're enjoying a story that someone else is telling, as opposed to your story, which is shit, and now you hate games too.


Yeah, one of those months. I'll need a few more cups of coffee then I'll soldier on. Until then I'm wallowing in it.


So sorry you are having a bad month. When I get like that, I stop writing and start reading. A good book can give you a new perspective on your writing. Soldier on!


It could be worse. I still have coffee.


It could be worse. We could be agreeing with you.

I haven't read your serial, but others have.


Pay Me Bug is consistently ranked at four stars.

The Points Between has a 2.5 and a 4.5 review.

Curveball varies between 3 and 5 stars (and I don't really look at reviews much, but I can't remember seeing many 5 stars about).


You might think it's shit, but obviously someone likes it.


Plus, you have coffee.


These are not logical moments. In situations like these, looking at cold hard facts are useless, because hippo birdy teapot vegetarian. The basic feelings are irrational and they are re-enforced by nonsense. Which means the best thing to do is recognize them, call th out, ride them out, and tell them to get bent.


And, of course, drink coffee. :-)


Well, all I can say to that is, I'm totally stealing "because hippo birdy teapot vegetarian" to use the next time one of my kids says "but whhhhyyyyy?"


I find whenever I am having one of those moments, it's a symptom of: http://zenpencils.com/comic/90-ira-glass-advice-for-beginners/


I'm currently on hating on English language right now. I figured it's better than tearing at myself.


I know it doesn't *really* help, but yeah. I have an idea what you mean. "Call them out, ride them out" is usually the route I take, too. Keep hanging in there, we're rooting for you. <3


That sucks man. Hope stuff goes better.


I don't know how much this is worth, but you were one of my inspirations when I started writing Web fiction, and continue to be one. Sometimes the impact one has isn't super obvious, but it is there.


Keep on keeping on, hang in there, and never forget that you are awesome.


And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.


I know those moods, kinda... it's been flipping on and off for me this month. Could be a September thing. I don't know if it helps, but I find when I start hating myself and what I'm doing, I blame my promotion and that I can't find an audience over my writing actually being terrible. Because I have records of some people liking it - so perhaps try to find your own positives of the past and focus on those, whatever they are. It can help. Time can help too. All the best.


@mathtans


Good advice dude. The month might be to blame, a lot of people get the blues in September.


The past 2-3 months have been like this for me. I started writing a WFG post about how I was going to pause my serial and asked for advice because I was afraid of losing readers. I deleted everything without actually posting it, and just kept writing.


You're probably not getting more attention due to lack of marketing and not finding your audience. Having read some of Curveball, I'd say your writing is pretty damn good. I only stopped reading due to 2-3 personal taste things that I mentioned in a comment on your prologue. But that's my personal taste - I know your audience is out there.


Apologies for the schadenfreude, but the threads you start are always my favorite, uber. So relatable haha. Just know you're a valued member of the community.


Chris, I know you know it's an irrational feeling, but I'd to add that I've enjoyed everything I've read of yours. I've reread "Pay Me, Bug!" as well as recommended it to friends (who have enjoyed it). Plus, having read your writing, I know there are a number of things you do better than I do.


One of the unfortunate things about writing is that it's mostly done alone with no audience. It makes it easy to second guess yourself. I do that too. Over time, I've tried to learn when to stop worrying. We'll see how that goes.


First off, I think this helps a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EhmWwX5n0I


Now onto the substantial stuff.


It seems to be something of a symptom of anyone who writes to think their stuff is crap. I've never actually read your stuff, but then I don't keep up with many serials these days. Those were some of the first things to drop off from the first round of depression, and I didn't really pick them up much when that one ended. I just bring that up more because you're not the only one to get pretty negative. We don't blame you, and we've been there too. It's nice to have people you don't have to pretend around, so feel free.


But you've got readers. People go out of their way to find what you've written. Some people pay money for it. And it may not feel like much, but they do that because you make their lives just a little bit better. There are a thousand things out there that don't do much more than make the world worse for people. People whose only notable interactions with others is to crap all over them (metaphorically, I mean, especially if you're the sort who is into that sort of thing. Not judging). And you get to be one of the things people turn to in order to make things better. Good on you.


Also, for good measure, the most wonderful time of the year is right around the corner. I mean, of course, Halloween. Barring diabeetus, it's a good time to indulge in a bit of chocolate therapy.


Now to end on a musical note: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03ZBJzYsub8