Unless I've really not been proof reading very well then I think what you are referring to is actually intended to be because of the first person viewpoint - ie in the characters train of thought kind of thing. What was it that made you think it wasn't? Is it something you think I should still look at changing even if I tell you it's intentional?
Question for others (especially those who have no formal education in creative writing):
How do you actually learn the rules of grammar/improve your writing? I suspect any of the grammar problems are things I'm doing wrong but think are correct. I started writing as an experiment and if I want to take it a bit more seriously I should probably learn how to actually do it... Just gunning along on my own is going to reproduce the same errors and I don't really know what I'm doing is incorrect. How do you improve? I've looked at some grammar rules and the language is completely alien to me - (my knowledge really is on the level of knowing what 'nouns', 'verbs' and 'adjectives' are... Anything beyond that is just kind of instinct I've built up)
Proof reading can pick out typo like problems, and my readers point out a lot of spelling mistakes (usually words with the same sound but different spellings) but they don't tend to point out flaws in grammar.
Are the rules different for first person? I.e. when following 'thought' like narrative, is non-perfect grammar acceptable or not.