Just curious to see what people think: First Series

Just wondering what you guys think of the idea i have for my first project


Breaker is the tentative title of the series, Its set in New York in the year 2028,and here is a bit of a teaser if you will:


The human mind, the true extent of its abilities are as of yet unknown. And yet, in recent decades evidence has come forward that the we are capable of more than we ever dared to imagine. Over the past 30 years an exceedingly small number individuals have been discovered, these individuals posses a seemingly preternatural ability to manipulate the very fabric of space and time and the essence of matter and energy. Jude Moore is one such individual. While still learning how to control his new found power he captured by a government agency trying to understand and exploit humanity's new found power. Before he is shipped of to a lab for experimentation he is rescued by a group consisting of other powered individuals. Led by a powerful user named Adam this group seeks revenge on the organization that has been kidnapping, experimenting on, abusing, and and murdering their kind for decades. Deemed terrorist by the government they are constantly being hunted, despite this there numbers are growing and they are gaining more and more influence every day.

Told from the prospectives of Jude and another user named Claire the story chronicles their personal dilemmas as they come to terms with their powers, work with the group to destroy the agency, watch the world around them fall apart, and well... fall in love.


Should be ready for upload in a few months


I like the concept. :) Its strikingly similar to the final outcome of what Tio eventually becomes as well. I would like to see where you can go with this.


The concept isn't bad, but it has been done before. Maybe you should think about what makes your story different, or why someone should read it over any other story.


Also, this may be a non-issue since I don't know how carefully you'll revise/edit your final copy, but your punctuation could use some work. I just know that's something that will turn me off of a story pretty quickly.


Good luck! Let us know how it's coming along.


Three things.

First of all, I would read at least the first few chapters of that book.


Second, let me Second what Alex McG said about punctuation and grammar.


Third, *technically* I don't think this is a teaser. This is more of a plot summary. A teaser would be something that ended after the sentence

Jude Moore is one such individual

and might add the line, "... and the government is after him."

i would have donea little more editing, but this forum is a bit touchy with post editing for some reason. Half the time its a none issue. I can't figure out how to pull of the edit button (it usually has it down by the time it was posted). kinda annoying


Could be fun.


Like Dustin and Alex, I'd have to see how it's executed.


Good to know