Offering Fiona a bribe

Dearest Fiona:

Hi there, remember me? It's Gavin Williams. You used to read "No Man an Island" and leave lovely insightful comments, and then you wrote an excellent review. Your clarity of thought and wide knowledge-base contributed to reader discussions. Most readers are fans of writers, but this writer is a fan of you as a reader. And now you are an editor, which is quite lucky for the WFG community, since your clear writing style and intellect make for very fair reviews. You are a voice of reason in the sea of confusion.

Now, why am I writing this? Where's the bribe? Why am I sucking up? Because, dear clever Fiona, you have given four stars to my new story "The Surprising Life and Death of Diggory Franklin." However, you haven't written a review. It's taunting me, knowing you must at least somewhat like the story, but won't share your eloquent thoughts on the subject. I see your little comments on chapters from time to time, taunting me. Fiona was here, they declare, but I'm not really telling you my brilliant insights on the scope of the entire story...

"No Man an Island" is walking around in the landscape of my imagination, picking on poor Diggory -- "ha, Fiona likes me better than you, I got a review and you didn't." I would have thought that a spiritually themed story would be more magnanimous, but it's really rubbing it in. Your reviews are just that good, they inspire bragging rights. Poor Diggory is developing a complex.

Won't you please resolve this conflict by writing a review? Please please please? I'm offering to bribe you here. Want a bonus story? A character named after you? Oo I have to finish NMAI's sequel? Tell me and I'll do it...

(p.s. See, I like funny)

Ha ha (blushing).

I'm still reading..but the reason I haven't written a Diggory review is there were quite a few already there, and I didn't have too much substantial to add. I was thinking I might do one when it was finished, but you told me that might take a decade ;)

Darn it, hoisted by my own petard/ penchant for writing ambitious stories!

I just brought it up because it's been about a year since the last review, and a LOT has happened since then, and I know you're still reading. Plus, I was demonstrating my ability to be funny, I hope. And show appreciation for a good reader and editor. I'm just interested in your thoughts -- the NMAI review was very good.