I had a quick look at both starts, and though I don't have time to write you a full critique, I'll make a few quick points here.
First, the dialogue -- what little there is -- seems a little flat. This is actually more evident in the rewrite than the original, as the narrative in the original filled in with a bit of colour. Definitely work on figuring out who the characters are -- what motivates them, how they deal with other people, etc. Right now, there's little actual interaction -- the words they say seem mostly intended to move the plot. You want to give us more of them actually reacting to each other -- as if they really are doing the things they are doing, and don't have a story to drive.
More generally, I'd caution you against putting so much focus on how different Tracker is. Tracker is obviously quite familiar with how he is different, so by having the narrator spend so much time and effort telling us about it, it necessarily puts a lot of distance between us and the character. That can work in some stories, but not, I think, in yours. It would probably make your story more compelling if we figure out that stuff by how people react to him, and how he reacts to them. Subtext, in other words.
Finally, in the rewrite in particular, you often explain what people are about to say or do, then describe them saying or doing it. You need to trust us more, to figure things out for ourselves. Don't *tell* us what everything means. If we can't figure it out for ourselves, you haven't *shown* us enough. As storyteller, you are our eyes and ears and nose and skin -- but you want to leave us being the brain, interpreting things, figuring things out. Otherwise, your story will have to work a *lot* harder to be involving.
Hope this helps, or that someone here can help more. Good luck!