Review Request - Beyond those Barriers

Hello there. I am the author of the webserial Beyond Those Barriers (http://beyondthosebarriers.co.cc). I just want to ask for any recommendations for the site.

Is the content good enough? Is site navigation great?

Thank you very much for your opinions.


myalper - well done on beginning your web serial. sometimes that can take some guts.


comments on your site layout: some may argue they don't enjoy black background, however i liked it. you don't overload the senses with a wall of text which makes reading it easy enough.


as far as the content goes, i think you still have some work to do. it sounds as though english is not your first language - and there are a few writers here who speak different languages.

however, perhaps you should either consider writing in your home language or brushing up on your english.


your story line (as much as i could tell) sounds intriguing enough that i would want to read further, however i keep getting jolted out of the story at the many grammar or syntax errors.


your story line should speak for itself, but your home page drills the fact into the readers' head that there is 'bigger and better yet to come'. this can be insulting to a reader.


i think there is some potential to your story and would love to read it one day. and don't give up just because one person (me) as critted it here. if you have a story to tell, you must tell it - even if it's going to take a bit more work than you thought.


good luck!


I haven't checked the content yet, but looking at the site, I can say that its design looks polished and well-crafted. There might be a few too many headers on the main page, though; the design doesn't really direct the user in any specific direction, and I feel a little lost when I look at it. Make sure that there's a link to the latest entry that can be found right from the beginning, maybe above or right below your link for published chapters - it's worth figuring that most of your traffic will want to be headed there, so help them out!


However, I would STRONGLY advise finding a different color scheme. Black and orange rings instant "cheese" bells for me, because they share colors with Halloween and bring up very specific connotations that are either inappropriate for a story or worthy of an eye-roll. I do like the sort of tannish color you use for the header text, though; it looks crisp and well-designed.


The story has potential just like NiSp stated. I read a little bit and agree, the story could use a beta reader who is knowledgeable in English, with an emphasis in grammar and syntax. It's an interesting premise, but the worldbuilding needs some work. Aside from all the syntax mistakes and grammar issues, I have no idea what's going on. Also, I agree with NiSp in taking out the Word Of Advice thing. We all know that most stories do get better over time, so saying that is a little obvious and unnecessary.


As far as the site is concerned, it looks like a lot of other sites. I would recommend getting a really nice header and setting the colors to fit the mood of the story.


sorry for the really late reply.


Anybody here who is willing to be an editor? I appreciate your comments and grammar is a serious thing to consider. And yes, I have changed the color scheme (a while ago) and removed the Word of Advice page to Author's Message to let the readers know what's going on when unexpected problems or something to expect for later.


The theme I have chosen actually fits the story better: full of mystery (reflected by black) and darkness (reflected by orange as symbolism of the sunset). However I have temporarily changed the main colors to violet to symbolize the darkness of the night. I will revert back to the orange theme but I will change the header very soon. I might as well launch the new appearance in lieu with the most exciting part that is just posts away from now.


I would love to hear more from you. Thank you for the comments.


I wish I could edit, but I'm so busy with school and life in general. I barely have time for my own story. I'd recommend going to livejournal and setting up an account and going to a beta reader group. There are a lot of people who are willing to help and have the time to help. That's how I find most of beta readers. Or perhaps, you can write the whole thing and find a beta to help fix everything.