Review Request - Cold Ghost

I would really appreciate a story review of Cold Ghost, which I just submitted last week to the Web Fiction Guide. I'm also happy to do a review swap, as I only just joined Web Fiction Guide a while back, and I'm a little lost as to where to start.

You can find the prologue at:

But I understand some people prefer to skip the prologue, and head straight to Chapter 1:

I'm requesting a story review over a site review please: I'm using Live Journal for Cold Ghost at the moment, and I'm very new to all of this. Also just as a warning in case any of these things are not your cup of tea, this story contains or will contain in future chapters: Sex, Foul Language, Violence, Dark Themes, Dark Comedy, Yakuza, Gay Themes (specifically exploring male/male relationships).

Thank you very much!