Far too technical huh? Well, a bit of a problem i keep running into seems to be explaining each and every movement within a chapter. I'm not too sure why as well. It feels like without the details, the story in its bare bones of events feel incomplete. This seems to be true for my latest chapter, I find just way too many details I don't need in there but yet without them the situation doesn't seem fully fleshed out. So in your opinion otherwise, if it's not filled with the details, what should I fill those empty spaces? Memories? Monologues? I'm not entirely sure. Also, what are the kind of things should I take out from the story to make it less technical? (Probably with an example so I roughly know which lines are the ones making it feel that way)
Also, the reason why I use the metric system is cause I'm most well versed in that, it wasn't a design choice by any means. I'll have to start picking up and using inches and feet from now on I guess. Thanks for the note! X)
I also do realize that the character development is kinda lacking here. I'm actually still trying to make Carter a somewhat relatable person. Will work on this as well!
In part of the whole lot of 'this is happening why should you care thing', it was initially in view of setting up of a bit of a mystery element. (If what we are talking about is the same events and things though) Guess it wasn't pulled of well enough huh? But for the most part, whatever events that do happen through the story actually does serve a purpose, but not immediately. They will become relevant later on in the other arcs but for the most part not in the current arc. Things like the puzzles, the computer, the cookies and milk, the forest, the missing girl, the planetarium and so on in the story has a reason to why they exist. But in its current state they are a 'set up' of whats to come, although I can understand that it looks pretty pointless thus far. I assume this is what you are talking about. Well, anyways, if so, then I'd want to ask, how do you make something mysterious but discreet enough for people to just past it by as 'eh, it's just an unnecessary detail' but yet somehow interesting in its own right. Cause that was actually the thought put into creating those rather seemingly 'random' sections.
But one thing as well, just want to know, but at which chapter does the story start to get boring? Just would like to have a rough gauge.
But anyways, thanks so far for the comments X) In light of it, I'll probably go about doing some editing for all the previous chapters up till now to try and make it more interesting and less detailed oriented. I'd probably start doing it after this week though since I do have quite a bit to writing to do by the end of the week.
Thanks for the comments once again! I really do appreciate it! X)