Review Request: Daybreak on Hyperion

Hello everyone,

I joined recently after a reader of mine recommended I post my story on this site, and so far the network has been quite eye-opening. I'm still not entirely sure of the demographics here, so a bit nervous on how I'll fit in. I guess the best way to approach this would be to ask for some reviews to see what the people here honestly think? ^^

Daybreak on Hyperion


Site: *

If I had to describe this story in one sentence, it is:

When psychology, realpolitik, and strategic warfare (blitzkrieg) meets magic.

...and just like Freud, Bismarck, and Guderian, it takes place in magical Germanies... well, Prussia.

It's a genderbender drama used to platform a discussion on gender expectations/equality and cognitive bias, a geopolitical adventure meant to apply brutal realpolitik to grey-and-gray high fantasy, and an exploration of technology, economics, and warfare in a pseudo-parallel world where Prometheus didn't stop at granting mankind fire, but magic as well.

It any of those strike your fancy, please take a shot at it and tell me what you think ^^


(*I know the site listing is a little weird. I basically hijacked a part off a friend who translates JP Light Novels. Since I've received a lot of support there and the features work well, it seems discourteous to move at this point)

...That moment when you first find out there's an edit time limit and the edit window was left open too long =( Ugh, sounds excessive even to me.

The actual synopsis:

Born into noble prestige and gifted with genius intellect, Pascal was a promising officer cadet who rose to national fame before even graduating. At the mere age of nineteen, he had everything a young man could wish for . . .

Except his habitual arrogance had destroyed every opportunity of a close friendship.

He received far more than he bargained for.

This is the story of how three wills joined and forever altered a continent.