Review Request: In Our Image

Hey everyone, I've been releasing my Web Novel, In Our Image, for a few months now, and although in that time I have gotten some views, there hasn't exactly been much feedback. In light of that, and taking into account that this is my first Web Novel and that I'd like to hear what's working and what isn't, I decided that I would come here and see if anybody would be willing to take a stab at reviewing it or just giving me some feedback. Thanks for listening!

P.S. I'm also willing to check out and possibly review some of your stories, too, so you can leave a link to yours here, if you're interested!

I read through chapter one, and it seems pretty good through that chapter. The only thing I had a hard time with was the very last section that was written in the first person. It doesn't seem to fit with this chapter. I would assume that the next chapter, that I haven't read yet, helps that to make a little more sense? Being written in the first person, I can not tell if it's a new character, or if it is one of the existing ones. So far I liked the story, I will be bookmarking it to read after a couple others I am reading between writing my own. Overall I like your style of writing.

Thanks for replying! Actually, that ending scene is written in the first person for a reason, and although you should start to understand why as the story progresses you won't find out for sure until the ending. I am glad that it stuck out to you, though, since that's supposed to represent a major transition in the story. I haven't been able to check out your story yet, but I have it marked down so when I do maybe I'll write you a review. Thanks again!

Why the fuck not? I've been MIA for like a month and a half, so this is probably a good way to get back into it.

I did what J.E did and also read through the first chapter. I'll try to read the rest, but work is getting in the way..... It was well written.

The only thing is that you, at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, use excessive adjectives and adverbs. You stated so many things in so many ways, and it's just a bit offputting. Hemingway said it best in this quote:

@Whynotzoidberg Thanks man, let me know what you think!

@GeneralRincewind I appreciate this advice a lot. Overwriting and pointless description are some vices I've been trying to work through, and I can definitely see that in the first chapter. Since I wrote that one about two years ago and haven't edited it yet, I hope that my more current stuff (about Volume 3 onwards) is a little more concise, and once I get to editing the older stuff I'll hopefully be chipping away at the unnecessary bits. Some aspects of the story get a bit goofier as it goes and some aspects of the writing change, but I hope you'll stick with it and tell me what you think. I really appreciate constructive criticism like this, so thank you!

I'll read it and try to get back to you with some thoughts when I can. Are there any particular things that you're concerned about/want notes on?

@DuckPollution Thanks for offering! I'm cool with any kind of critique or notes that you can give, but I'd especially like some comments on the writing or story. Since I haven't edited any of the chapters yet, I'd like to use some reviews/critique to aid in editing the current chapters and in writing the new ones. And I think feedback is just generally good in helping a story grow. Anything would be appreciated, and thank you!