So, I've made a web serial (it'll actually update sometime tomorrow) called Nowhere Island University. It's about a recent high school graduate named Nathan Jacobs who is sent to the titular university to spy on it by a government agency called UNIX. I should have a link to it in my forum sig, but I will leave a link to the home page and table of contents at the bottom.
Just a quick note: I am three chapters in, and I haven't mentioned any kind of mutant/parahuman/whatever until chapter three, so in videogame terms super heroes are a feature that will be implemented at a later date. Also, while I do want a general review, there are a few specific areas I want people to look at:
1. The first chapter... I have doubts about the first chapter. Yes, I think it grabs interest, and I don't have a lot of weird names, but I'm worried I generate mystery and suspense in a really cheap way. If you read it and don't see what I mean, then I'll stop worrying.
2. I actually am proud of how chapter two turns out. HOWEVER, I have the sneaking suspicion that my character made some huge leaps of logic. I just want to check to make sure that they still land on the cliffs of reason and not fall into the piranha-infested river of asspull.
3. This is more site-related, but I was wondering if I could find someone who can do banners. I like the way my site is currently set up (the color scheme is exactly how I picture the university's would be) but I kind of worry that its bare-bones feel may scare off readers.
4. I am not sure how to formally submit this to Web Fiction guide. For all I know, I may have done just that. Also, if I haven't already done that, should I? Or should I wait until I've written more stuff? I tend to be more motivated when I show my work to other people, so if this can get even one person to look at it and comment regularly, I'll consider this a win.
So, that's the major areas *I* think need to be looked at. If you find any more, just list them as 5, 6, etc. And without further ado, here's the links. Just copy and paste them.
Main Page: https://nowhereislanduniversity.wordpress.com/
Table of Contents: https://nowhereislanduniversity.wordpress.com/toc/