Review Request: Shadow's Light

I've poked around the forums since I first joined about a month ago. My story Shadow's Light was put onto the shelf about two/three weeks ago, and I thought it was about time to try and get more reviews/readers for it. The reviews I'm asking for don't have to be necessarily "official", but if you just want to e-mail me, sign the site's guestbook, or comment on this topic about what your thoughts are, that would work perfectly fine for me. I would be indebted to you either way. It would really mean so much to me!

I do want to make one note however about the story before anyone interested goes charging in, I am all for constructive criticism, so please don't tell me how much you hate it/it sucks etc. If you don't like it, I'm quite alright with that, but please explain to me why, and what there is I could do to make it better, don't just tell me how terrible it is. Also, this story was started back in 2005, which means that there probably are a lot of things that are messed up (grammar, some spelling and small errors in plot). This said, feel free to bring problems to my attention, but try not to be too critical (like with the grammar and spelling). A rewrite is already planned in the works after I'm done with the first walkthrough. Nineteen of twenty-three chapters at this point in time.

Here's a brief gist of the story:

Descendants of the creator of Evil have been cursed with the fate of the Dark Crystal, while the one who opposes its power, carries the Light Crystal. But together, the precious stones create a power that could annihilate the entire universe. So when the host of the Dark Crystal is thrust into the position to choose to fight along side the Light Crystal or join the new unknown enemy in destroying life, which will she choose?

Link to listing:

Link to site:

Link to Chapter One:

I know there are a lot of chapters to read, but I don't expect anyone to read them all and then pass a review(unless you really wanted too, and had the time). If you would like to just read a couple of chapters and give me your thoughts on them, that would work perfectly fine for me. So please, don't be fearful of giving it a shot!

Hi Jacquelyn. I just left a comment in your guest book - which disappeared... I hope it is waiting to be moderated? The guest book seems to be the only contact you have, so if the comment has not reached you, please email me at [email protected] and I'll write it all out again. ;)

Thanks Letitia, I checked the guestbook and everything but bravenet seems to have swallowed it up. Which is quite worrisome, so I apologize for not being able to read your comment. On the homepage where the copyright is, my name is a hyperlink to my e-mail, but I will make sure to change it so that it is a lot easier to find ways to get a hold of me.

I'll be sure to e-mail you in case you don't happen to read across this again, and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment! :)

I have only three chapters left to write in the story. A lot of work will be going into rewriting Shadow's Light, which I hope to be updating regularly by November along with some major changes to the website itself. Any comments and constructive criticism on the first draft would be greatly appreciated before it's taken down when I begin putting up the rewrite.

I want other opinions of what seems to be missing or not making sense, so I know what I need to add/change in the rewrite for readers to be more interested. Thanks for any help, I really am grateful!!

The site has been reopened with a lot of new features, and the rewrite of the story. Check it out and please let me know what you think!

I was curious, since I originally submitted my story Shadow's Light for the listing, I have redone the story. My question is, is there a way to maybe get a refreshed editor review to maybe alter the rating I was given? I am curious to see if it would be the same, (hopefully not)worse, or better, since I like to think that what was originally read is nothing to what it is now.

Just an idea that's been bumbling around in my head, if it's too much, then I'm not that worried about it. I was just hoping for a more updated outlook on the new updated story.