Hi! I had a quick look at it.
I like the black/white/grey colour scheme. It works really well, and the background and the little swirls (they have a name; I've forgotten it!) are subtle and suit the mood. There are a couple of off notes - the icon next to the "Home" link, the hover text on the RSS, and the XHTML/CSS/Login. I would probably try and make those suit the layout more. Notwithstanding the colours, those little icons are quite a mdoern look, whereas the layout in general is more gothic.
I also noticed the squares in the top right, which I gather should allow me to change the colour of the layout, but this didn't work in IE or Firefox. I'd be inclined to just get rid of the squares altogether - I mean, how much does anyone need to change the colour of your layout when the grey works so well?
I doubt I would have noticed those things if I hadn't been looking to review your layout, so they definitely don't impact on the readability/navigability of the site. It's generally very neat, very professional, and very easy to read on. I suspect they're artifacts of your customisation of the layout. I know when I started with mine I had a lot of stuff like that which was a bit tricky to fix, and it took me a while to go through and tidy it all up. I still have a few things on the to-do list!
This is more a note than anything else, but I thought the ordering of your nav bar was a bit odd. The ToC link (being the one, I assume, you most want people to click) is at the end. I would probably bring it towards the beginning of the list.
Re: the content, the about the story & characters pages were quite short and spare, but they did succeed in drawing me along to the ToC link, so I suppose they achieved their purpose!
The story itself was engaging! Interesting premise, and a great hook in the first paragraph which leads straight into the action. Couple of things to watch out for: you change tense in the first paragraph, and you're missing a period at the end of the first line of dialogue. You should also keep an eye on your dialogue and make sure it sounds like people speaking, and not people delivering information the reader should know. Generally I didn't get this sense, but there were a couple of bits. Your descriptions were great! Very immediate, very intense, and keep me scrolling down.
It would be good to have a "Next" link at the bottom of the page, after the story text, so I couldjust click on to the next instalment rather than having to scroll up or click back to the contents.
I hope this was helpful! Please let me know if any of my comments don't make sense.