Starting to write, and looking for help/feedback

Greetings everyone. I am Tsutayu and I'm new here. I have been perusing many of the threads here for some weeks after discovering the wonders of web fiction some time ago. I honestly forget when I started reading Worm, but the ones I've been reading have multiplied since then. I'm not entirely sure why I've never searched for them before, but now that I've found them I'm quite happy I did.

I've been working on several ideas for some time now, and reading the web-fictions written by others has inspired me to commit one of my own ideas to paper and begin writing my own web-fiction. While i'm not very experienced at writing, I have quickly learned that I am in desperate need of help and feedback/critique with my writing and was wondering if I could find some help on that front. I've written two beginnings and am unsure which I would like to continue off of. I was hoping I might find some advice on getting past this.

I'm not entirely sure about the etiquette with regards to putting up links so I'll refrain from including any for now.

Hey we have the same origin story, in that I also started with Worm and my reading list expanded and then I got inspired to write my own. I am also rather new around here so I can't say for certain about the etiquette concerning links but I has seen them around so there probably isn't an issue. Most of the people around here seem to be very willing to give very good advice. Also myself, a few other newbie writers, two not so newbie writers and some others hang out on an irc channel and most of us don't bite unless asked. We hang out chat about random stuff and occasionally help each other out with our writing. If you are interested this page can get you get on As for deciding on what beginning to choose I can't say much more than to go with your gut without seeing both of them.

Anyways welcome I do so hope you have a good time here and with you writing.

Thank you for the link, I'll be sure to check out both the IRC, and your blog.

I link to my most current work sometimes ( I'm sure annoys the crap out of everyone else, but that's the only way to get new readers, right?

We don't mind Alex, we put up with your quirks.

Start as close to the central action as you can. If you can't make the story make sense, then start earlier. If it's too slow, start later. Keep writing drafts until you feel you have a good footing.

It's hard to give advice without seeing a link. I'm under the impression that links are fine, but maybe try to not just ask for help on your own thing & then disappear - contribute to help others, or review, or just comment here in the forums.

Keep writing, keep doing drafts - get a feel for the story as it's going to evolve & be written. It's very possible that one beginning will feel more solid as you get further along. Use the time & drafts to build up a backlog, so you have a lot of chapters online & can keep your schedule if something happens. Get a sense of how much & how fast you can write, and set a comfortable schedule for yourself.

If you're writing a serial, then you're in it for the long haul, and you should set a pace where you won't run out of stamina or collapse partway. The backlog helps to keep you afloat if you stumble.

Ok Alex I will read yours. Swing by mine if you have the time.

Thank you for the advice Wildbow, as well as to Taulsn and the others on the IRC.

read your writing out loud. If it sounds like a friend telling a story about this thing that happened, danger. It should more like a vivid scene happening in front of you. beynod that, practice makes better, and without specifics to look at, it can be harder to comment. please, feel free to post some links!

Here's a link to the initial first chapter that I put on my blog. I haven't changed it as of yet.

As for the rewrite, I have that up on my google docs which is here.

Taulsn, Tempest, Wildbow and the others have been quite helpful already, and I'm more or less decided on switching to the one on the google doc. But I would certainly appreciate and be grateful for more feedback. There's no such thing a too much help when it comes to writing, after all. Thank you, by the way.

Tsutayu, you can add it to your sig and then no one can complain at you about your discreet advertising ;)

I'll leave you some comments on your Google Docs version but they're really just for consideration only. You are free to ignore them or solicit input from others on their thoughts.

Most of my comments are about flagging your patterns and how they might be influencing your reader's impressions of the main voice.

"Kind of"



Thank you for looking at it SgL. I'll check to see if there are similar patterns in the later chapters, and try to curb some of the more blatant offenses. I appreciate your help and feedback.