Story Thread: Just Dialogue!

New story thread! Last one didn't do so well, so here's hoping this one does better!


Story Thread: Just Dialogue!

Theme: Just Dialogue!

Challenge:

Write a story that is purely composed of dialogue, no story tags or descriptions. May not exceed 1000 words. Links to Google Docs, Pastebin or other websites are accepted


Rules:

1. You are allowed to criticize the stories, but not break them down. Excessive rudeness or meanness is not welcome

2. No off-topic conversations please, this is a story thread, so lets keep it that way.


My submission,not very good, but hopefully adequate:

http://pastebin.com/rsxz4MV6


I was gunna say you're awful stingy on that word count, but I didn't even need all of it, so what do I know?


http://sharkerbob.blogspot.com/2016/08/tabithas-defiance.html


@GR - The dialogue was alright, but I didn't get a sense of closure to the scene. Like, I know it wasn't a joke-story, but something like this, if it's to be a stand-alone, and not an excerpt, kind of needs a "punchline" or impactful closing sentence, I think.


@Sharkerbob

Brilliant story, one of the best shortstories I've ever read. It really gives the feeling of an epic conclusion to a great adventure, and the moral dilemma introduced is quite interesting. The (assumed) protagonist is quite ambiguous , with her actions up for consideration, and Lord Luc is quite delightfully characterized. In fact the only fault I can find is that some words were misspelled, but that's easily solved with a quick edit.


Damn it, I will forever be haunted by typos! :(


Made a couple small edits, hopefully I got them all.


Thanks for the compliment! And these little challenges are fun! :)


Now, to make a farce out of the entire thing. Though, in less than 1,000 words, I have manage to pack in action, drama, romance, a bomb, and possibly a bit of comedy. Also, seeing as I'm not very adept at sharing stuff like this online, hopefully nobody will go around messing with everything accidentally.


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hQ_YIcwhGax-jjwGtGgbsudSaR8HUkpRysc5Kjfr600/edit?usp=sharing


@Sharkerbob - It is a spoiler, (ssshhhhh) but your short-story is very similar to the story of my webserial. True immortals can't die. I thought it was cool, of course, for that and on its own.


@GeneralRincewind - I think the reason not too many people take the time to do these, and the reason I normally wouldn't, is because: If I'm going to write it'll probably be to avoid missing a chapter deadline. But! It really doesn't take a lot of time and I think it's a good thing to do, for fun. So here's my quite short story:


http://freetexthost.com/iddtqvskot


@Psycho - Hehehe. You have a very memorable style of humor, in my opinion.


@Shaeor - Great minds think alike? ;) The scene is derived from a fairly old idea series/novel of mine (fifteen years or so), that I could just never get working, unfortunately. There's two other shorts on my blog also featuring her.


As for your short, it paints an intriguing picture. Intriguing philosophy on behalf of the man.


@PG - HA! That was a rousing humorous lark of impeccable Britishness!


Okay, decided I was game to try the prompt thing again, thanks for continuing it GR! As to word count, I'm amazed I managed over 500 without description. I have this constant need to explain myself! I put some deconstruction at the end of the post. Incidentally, this will be a complete tonal shift, as compared to PGecko's in particular:


http://mathiex.blogspot.ca/2016/08/261-in-dark.html


@GR: I notice you completely avoided names, yet "sis" felt like all I needed, so that was good. I see what SBob was saying about closure. With where the character description was leading, I almost wonder if it was all leading up to self-harm, or worse? I wonder... maybe the wondering is part of it.


@SBob: That was well done! I'm not even sure what sort of a setting would be appropriate for a conversation like that. Ditto for the object, so good job with the intangibles. Actually, you were able to make that whole thing very epic, which IMHO is very impressive without the use of description.


@PG: You definitely packed a lot in there, and are very good at subverting expectations... not only in mid-story but there was a point when I thought 'so there will be a wire cut and then it's just going to abruptly end' but that didn't happen either. So both funny and clever.


@Shaeor: Whereas the other stories picked a typical setting, or made location unimportant, you painted something of a picture. You even managed to add a third voice (granted PG did as well), but labelling/naming as you did added more nuance to the world. And the people in it, and the deeds of one... most interesting. Glad you decided to participate.


@Mathtans - Thanks a lot! :)


Yours was good as the suspense got going, but there were a couple lines that felt more narrative than dialogue; the one character saying things more descriptively than most people talk, especially as the situation went on. Hard to establish a setting with dialogue only, though.


Hello Everyone,


Here's a quicky (word count 55):


~~~


Confession












@SS - Ha!


@Scott, A good piece of flash fiction. I like when something short can pack so much menace into it. I liked it in spite of the one issue I'm going to bring up.


How did he know the man? I might not explain this well, but if they are in a setting where it would be a major surprise for the priest to know the man's wife's name, how would the priest have been able to figure out the man he was talking to was Linda's husband? If they were in a small enough parish, it wouldn't be that unusual for a priest to know who he was taking confession from and also know the name of the person's family, in which case this wouldn't be an issue. But somehow, they're in a place big enough that he can figure out what man he's talking to without the presumed familiarity to also know the man's wife, which seems like a slight problem to me.