Thank you, Billy Higgins

BillyHiggins, thank you very much for your review. I must confess, I was relieved to get your feedback; you are literally the first person to tell me anything about my story. (I even gave it to my brothers and a few friends to read, which they assured me they would. They most assuredly didn't.)

Thus, I am really appreciative of you taking the time to write a long, thorough review. :-) Truly, truly.

Your comments about my punctuation errors are duly noted (especially about the semi-colon). It's a problem that kind of oozes out of my writing since my high school days. I need to really learn proper usage.

As for the plain plot lines... its true, for now. (later I promise it will get more fantasy-esque). I really do feel as if I am lacking an interesting hook; I'm trying to figure how to get people to read past the 2nd chapter.

I was trying to find a way to integrate some of the sci-fantasy aspects of my world earlier, but until I figure out a brilliant solution, it will have to wait.

A toast to BillyHiggins and his critical literary mind!

*PS - your review knocked me up about 12 views in a few hours. :-) Thank you!

I too am a fellow semicolon addict. I *think* in semicolons. The very first editing pass my co-writer does on my work is to ctrl-f for semicolons, and tell me how many I have to pare down.

They are the noblest of punctuation. Use them correctly, but don't be afraid to use them! ;)

Glad the review helped, lifesharpener!

I think we should ALL be afraid of semi-colons. They're great, but only when treated with care!

Also, if you're looking for critiques, this site may be of interest:

They focus on short stories, but you can also submit novels. (Which is kinda what serials are. It's a very -ish case, but whatever.)

It totally helped! I can't tell you how much I've been obsessing over your review. I honestly didn't know who Isaac Asimov or Ray Bradbury were... I am totally ashamed.

I googled them, and I have to confess that I am completely honored to be even compared in the slightest to these two pioneers.

I read this interview with Ray Bradbury and was simply blown away. What a man: \The Paris Review\

I have a neat little graph that I made to document my site's traffic, I gave you a little indicator on my timeline. I'll add a link here when it's up.

I hope you don't freak out, about my stalker-ism.

But if BillyHiggins is your real name... maybe you should... (HAHA just kidding)

I'm also planning on linking to your review on my site, if you don't mind. :-) and possibly to your site.

Not lying, your review was a pretty big moment for me.

Unfortunately I'm not sure when I will have the time to go back and fix the first few chapters, I have a pretty good momentum going writing chapters now so I don't want to break the pattern. But it will happen ASAIFLI (As Soon As I Feel Like It).

But for now, I am doing my best to be sparing of semi-colons usage in the chapters I'm writing now,.

I like science fiction of the last century, and I like your story :-)

Dearest Fiona,

What a kind thing to say. :-)

It really lifts up my writer ego to hear that you like my story. Thank you for your encouragement! I like my story too (if that's not a stupid thing to say). It is really a joy to write Lasko/Tunnel/Sharp's story and world into reality. I'm really loving how the story is turning out, I hope that you will enjoy it too! (if you keep reading).

PS. I also thought it was very clever of BillyHiggins to make his review title a play off of my title. I didn't get it right away, haha.

I'm always looking for good new science fiction, and this story fits the bill! Looking forward to reading more. :)

Awesome E_Foster! Thanks for reading, and I hope that you like it.

Ah, Asimov and Bradbury are so good. I wish you good readings. Bradbury interviews are always a joy, so thanks for the Paris Review link.

Haha, Billy Higgins isn't my real name (it's my first and middle, but not my last), so I'm not too worried. Though actually I'm wondering if I'm going to need to change it, since it's so un-Googleable.

You can link to the review however you want to. It's out there in the world -- no longer mine, really.

I'd recommend just staying the course. Going back and editing too much can ruin the narrative flow. I think the most successful serialists take the lessons they've learned and apply them to current writings, as opposed to going back and editing. That said, it's your serial, so it's totally your choice! And there are a million ways to do just about anything.

'Just keep swimming'

Yeah finding nemo quotes just keep finding a way of being relevant. Going back and editing can kill your forward momentum, you end up tweaking and rewriting instead of getting the next chapter out.

thanks for the advice guys. :-)