Thank You, mrouzbanian

This is a bit late. I didn't realize you could thank someone for a review. So, here goes. Thank you, mrouzbanian for your review. It's wasn't exactly favorable, but thank you nonetheless. I'm glad that you're still going to read the story, though I'm not sure why. I guess that's because if I gave something two stars, I wouldn't keep reading it, but everyone is different. I do appreciate that you're going to stick with it though.

Also, I am working on my pacing. You're not the first person to say the pace is too fast. I'm ahead of the story so it might be a while before you see the pace change. I do plan on going back to edit all of my chapters, but I'm waiting until the serial is completed. If I start editing it now, I'll lose track of writing the story and that's not something I want to do.

One last thing, you said the many cons of my story revolve around my writing ability. I was just wondering if you could clarify on that? If so, I could look for it in future chapters and when I go back to edit them all. It would be a really big help and much appreciated.

Thank you,


Gosh, first reviews are rough...

But it's good to ask for clarification because that's how we improve is through understandable criticism.

Keep pushing onwards and practice makes perfect. What what!

Yeah, it was a little rough, but it happens. Even great writers get bad reviews. It just goes with the game. I just want to be able to get better. That's part of the reason I started the serial, aside from having to get the story out of my head. Hopefully, they'll get back to me and let me know though. I really am curious and want to improve myself.

It would've been helpful if the reviewer stated some examples of poor writing ability or areas of improvement (was it too passive? too much tell not enough show? whatttt???), and what was meant by cliche characters (why was the character cliche???). And why was the fast pace a problem? I haven't read the story but if it's an action story, it better be fast paced, because that what readers of action stories want.

The review was too general to get bogged down by it. I've been making a list of stories to review, so I'm hoping to get to yours as well eventually, if you don't mind.

I guess that was part of the reason why I was confused about the review. There really wasn't any detail about my writing or why they thought the way they did. Someone that commented on my story told me that part of the reason why the story was fast paced was because of my lack of descriptions. I know I have a problem with that. That is something I'm working on. So maybe that was what they meant? I'm not sure. The cliche characters, I was a little meh on. A lot of characters start off cliche, it's if they stay that way is the problem.

I would really appreciate it if you gave it a look through and let me know what you think. A review of any kind would be appreciated. You can also email me any problems you think I really need to look at/work on. I would appreciate any kind of help.

Sure, I'll look into it.

A note on descriptions: you don't need a lot. Anyone who tells you that you do is full of it. You just need ENOUGH to tell the story, AND you only tell what is IMPORTANT/RELEVANT to the story. As a reader, I don't give a hoot about half the things you may be describing unless it's relevant to the story. For example, I don't need to know the exact layout of a room (unless it's a murder scene, maybe). Professional writers only give what you need. If you're finding your writing a whole bunch of description just because someone told you to write more description, you're going down the wrong path. Ask yourself instead: does my reader need all this description? How can I slip it in here and there instead of a big info-dump? Good writers always CUT. Brevity is the soul of wit. Clear and concise. Less is more. People can't keep so many things in their minds anyway, so why waste their time giving them all this description they won't even recall? Be strategic.

EDIT: If you want to describe settings all you need is one or all three of these things:

1) Base it on the POV character's senses

2) Include all the problems/inconveniences the setting can cause for the character (this builds tension and conflict)

3) Include some history (but don't go nuts over this--this is a fine balance here)

(This was taken from advice given by David Farland in his books on writing--which I do recommend. He's taught many great writers.)

I try to live to the less is more. I don't like to overload people with information or descriptions. I like to gradually add back story through multiple chapters and not all at once. Though, I don't know if I'm not adding enough or not. In my head, I am, but my head can be wrong at times. That's why having a second, or third, opinion would be nice.

This is going to sound terrible, but my mom thought the descriptions and pacing was just fine for the story. I do feel the need to clarify that my mom doesn't baby me when it comes to my stories. She'll tell me if it doesn't work or not. She probably holds back a little bit. I do wish she would be a little more cutthroat about it.

It's why I would like to have as many opinions as possible. Each opinion gives me a clearer idea of what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong.

I will definitely look Farland up. Thank you for giving me some references to look at.

Farland is wonderful. Runelords ftw.

lol. I guess I really have to check him out then.

Epic fantasy. Clever. Although the last few books are not great, in comparison.

I love epic fantasy! Sounds like this guy is right up my alley. And it seems that when it comes with a long running fantasy series that they start losing their magic, no pun intended. There have been several series that happened with.

Yeah, its hard to keep the excitement, and the freshness going. Can't be helped most of the time.

It happens a lot with Tv series, that they should just let end but want to keep going.