Thanks for the review, Palladian

I just wanted to thank you, Palladian, for your review of Crescendo Cove. Obviously you didn't care much for the story, but I still appreciate the fact that you took the time to read part of it and write the review. And some of your criticisms are entirely valid. For example, I realize the story is quite juvenile and prurient in places, but what can I say? It's meant to provide some shock value (as in, "is he really still going on about breasts?"). Furthermore, I think if you set out to write something to please absolutely everyone, you'd probably only succeed in driving yourself crazy.

I would quibble with one of your criticisms, however: the fact that Daedalus has indiscriminate sex without consequence, while Viv gets punished for her dalliance with the stable boy is not necessarily indicative of endemic sexism. The problem is, unbeknownst to Viv, but beknownst to Steel, the stable boy is Viv's step son. That's why Steel reacts the way he does. Not a big deal, just thought I'd point it out.

Thanks again for the review. Perhaps some day I'll get that roller coaster pointing in the right direction ;-)


Hi, Greg:

I appreciate the thanks, especially since I wasn't able to give you a very favorable review. I think I may have been a little hasty with my star rating, however, which I've revised. I realize I'm not your target audience, and that some of my criticisms were probably due to the way you're writing satire. You are a wise person to keep following your own star, and I applaud you for doing it. I've heard that people often get increased traffic due to any type of review, and that sometimes memorable reviews will bring more readers. I hope that has been the case for your serial, as well.

Thank you for the reminder about Viv and Burl's step-relation...I think I was trying to forget. At any rate, even with that admitted, I'm still having trouble understanding why, in Steel's estimation, that what Viv is doing is a cardinal sin while he's so OK with what Daedalus is doing that he's willing to fund it.

Which I think kind of points to the issues that I was having, and alluded to in my comments about why your story seems to come off as sort of sexist. I threw those two out since they were things discussed early in the story, so it was likely I wouldn't spoiler anyone, but I had deeper issues than that.


Just going with what has been discussed about Viv so far, she apparently had a child at 16, the father of which was the family's 40 year old butler. Some time after that, her family saw fit to marry her to another business owner of their choosing.

Let's unpack that a bit. If Viv had a child when she turned 16, chances are that she had been having sex before that age. Given that the age of consent in all of the United States (where I'm guessing this is set) is between 16 and 18, chances are that she was not of age when her liaison with the much-older butler began. Even if she was in one of the states where it's 16, it's usually contingent upon the partner also being around that age. Someone much older is still violating the law by taking advantage of a minor in this regard. At any rate, it's really common for sexual predators of children to start molesting them when they're very young and only get 'caught' later (if their victim is a female) after she starts menstruating and gets pregnant. So, apparently her family made her have a child (since she wouldn't have any say on the matter, being a minor), and then forced her to give it up for adoption. Also, it seems they tried to sweep it under the rug and didn't prosecute the former butler, because no one mentioned that when they discussed the matter.

It seems she didn't get any sort of help, and was likely blamed for her situation, given how she behaves today, and how her family seems to continue to regard her. At any rate, after that fiasco, she was traded like a poker chip to become the wife of a business partner of her family's, one who needed a beard. The man apparently had no interest in her, as a result, and it doesn't seem they even slept together (which, of course, makes it even less creepy that she was sleeping with the man's son).

Also, all of this was apparently common knowledge to the entire family, given how it was discussed. I also liked how Steel thought it was perfectly appropriate to address Viv like a child, at family breakfast and tell her to stop her liaison, like somehow it was family business and not just his sister's. That just sort of adds the cherry topping of humiliation to this little sundae of inequity. I can't understand why she hasn't drunk herself to death already, and I totally understand why she might sound dramatic - she has a lot to be angry about.

In contrast, the men, even though they're poked fun at as well, seem to have some dignity to them (e.g., Daedalus' "problem" is one that a number of men might like to have, and Steel, though neurotic, does run the company and boss everyone else around). If you would like this to seem funnier to a broader audience, it would probably behoove you to make your fun-poking a bit more even handed. Also, you might like to keep in mind that the latest numbers I've found say that about 1 in 3 women can look forward to being sexually abused in their lifetime, and that I know and have talked to women in the States who have been married by arranged marriage (none of which have seemed to come out very happily). As such, these things (and the others I've called out above) are issues that way too many women have to face on a daily basis to be funny to many of them...something else you may want to consider. Maybe now you can understand a bit more about why I was feeling queasy and dreading reading another chapter, wondering why on earth some of the things I mention had been put up as fodder for laughs.


At any rate, I just wanted to give you some food for thought as you go forward with your serial, and I wish you the best of luck with the remainder of your story as you do.


Super: Sci-fi/Suspense/Adventure, with Superheroes

Hello Palladian,

Again, I appreciate you taking the time to give my story some thought. I welcome criticism of any kind.

Kudos to gweir10 for writing such a polite response to an unfavorable review!