As Important as it is to grow as a writer one must be a little wary, after all you can end up with a perfectly clean execution, but lose your flavour. I see a lot of people on the internet talking about show don't tell, but ultimately that is just one particular style, albeit a particularly popular one at the moment. It would be inadvisable to discount the masses of writings of the past and present that do not fit within the confines of show don't tell.
The main thing is to not have mechanical errors and so on that toss the reader out of the experience, if a reader is noticing your plot holes or bad habit of Random Capitalization or whatever quirk or actual fault you may have, this can mean that you simply did not engage them enough for such things to roll off their back like water off a duck's. I am not of course advocating that you never do any editing and never attempt to iron out issues your writing has (Alexander Hollins did indeed give you a good review), rather I am saying that sometimes people iron their style out of existence.
Now, all my blabbering may be completely pointless, as I may be saying stuff you already know, or stuff that you simply don't agree with. This is fine, I'm mainly saying it because of what I've experienced myself.
I spent far too long struggling against my style of writing, as a child I wanted to write those big fat fantasy trilogies, but how I work and write is best suited to episodic short stories, some of my updates are very small 1,000 words around about, I am still somewhat insecure about this, but it is what length it is. The joke is that I know now I can write a big fat fantasy trilogy of short stories.
The right way to write in my mind is the way that lets you breath forth stories that capture the reader. The reader you can capture however is the one attracted to your bait and hook, if you change that bait, that hook, it is different.
Anyway I feel I may have lost track of what I was saying here.
You've two things in your favour anyway, in terms of growth. Your english is better than some native writers and you are aware that you can be disrespectful to the reader. Though hilariously for some things, being disrespectful to the reader is a selling point.
Pretty much everything in writing how you frame it, and knowing one's limits is a great step to one day pushing against them. Enough pontificating from me!