To Fiona

Thank you so much for the review! Eep I'm so excited! I literally did a little dance in my seat when I saw it.


Especially since I'm admittedly so horrible at writing summaries, I think readers will get an even better idea of Orbital Academy from your review than from my synopsis :) Thanks!


Geez, I wind up reading the one with Kirk Sue and the space elves, but Fiona winds up with the good dirty stuff. That's it, release the hounds! www.youtube.com/watch?v=yogEyYtiRBY


Maddirose, you're very welcome. I hope some more people go check it out now, as the story's really getting interesting. (By the way, I think it's good not to give away too much in the synopsis. There was enough there to spark some curiosity and make it sound interesting to read.)


Psycho Gecko, no need to threaten kitty genocide, your efforts have earned you the award for the Longest Review on WFG Ever!

(I may be wrong, but I don't think so.) Imagine how much you could write about the sexy space cadets!


Apologies for barging in on your moment, Maddi. It's an unfortunate problem of mine. Congratulations. I saw Fiona's review and I was like "Darn it, I read the wrong sexy space story!" I may have to hop over there now and see what all the fuss is about myself.


there is no wrong sexy space story.


Space IS known for its curves, after all.


It's also expanding, which some people are into, but just don't say anything to space about it or you'll be seeing stars.


In Space, no-one can hear you scream...in ecstasy!


...was thinking of putting that for the title of my review, but decided it was too long...


Fiona - haha! That would've made a great title!


Maddirose I read the first few chapters and really enjoyed it! I can tell it's getting better and better, and your erotica writing is really great. I struggle so much just writing kissing scenes so you have my respect! :P Also, I'm a fan of the Starfighter webcomic and I can almost imagine Orbital Academy taking place in the same universe. Maybe I should put all this in a review..


I'm so stealing some of those taglines :)


Man I'm so happy right now! I feel like a "real" serial writer now that I have a review, and there has been a large boost in my numbers since it went up.


@Psycho: No apology necessary! I like hearing everyone's input :) and as Alexander.Hollins says, there is no wrong sexy space story


@Fiona: I'm so stealing that tagline :D


@Amy: Thanks, that means a lot to me! I feel like I've become such a better writer over the life of this serial, at some point I really need to go back and edit those first few chapters. And you're certainly welcome to write a review if you like, that would be awesome!


Amy: I find purple prose helps a lot, to a certain extent. Don't be afraid to swap out words, as some of them just seem crude. Others, it's just good to have various synonyms for because they're used so much, like "pump" "thrust" "pound" "slide" and "glide". I personally find "boob" to be more useful for humor than romance. Also be aware that measured amounts of accuracy are useful. Some help along people's imagination, others would be a bit too realistic and remind people of the occasional problems with sex.


Remember that the next time a character slides his hands down the soft skin of another character, caressing her curves lovingly as he holds her in an embrace warmed by desire.


And that was just a hug.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go read "The Cold Equations" and have special happy private time.


Wow PG, that is a long review. I have to admit, I couldn't get past the first few pages on that one...


I've used "In space, no one can hear you moan" for a fan fic before. god... that was back in the mid 90's, when I discovered fan fic through a Voltron community. (yes, my fan fic cherry was voltron fic. don't judge me. )


seriously though, sounds like I have a few new stories to read... when i'm NOT at work, lol.


Also, I know I've pimped them before, but www.bookcountry.com has some REALLY good writing forums, and there is one dedicated to erotica and purple prose that has some REALLY good old threads.


Ironically, my criticism that the story was perhaps too long and could have been broken up into smaller stories that didn't go all over the place as much is also a decent criticism of the review (and that's with leaving some stuff out).


I try to have good things to say if I'm going to review something so it's not just accentuating the negative, and to account for differences in people's taste. It's also hypocritical for me to criticize a work for letting you turn your brain off and not exploring concepts' deeper meaning meaning. I just got done with blatant wish fulfillment, so I can't completely blast a guy for his main character getting to nail alien women all over the place. More in-depth discussion of said nailing would have been preferred, though.


Now, to contribute to the tag lines.. "Hotter than the sun, and twice the fun." I need to work on that. A bit generic. Oh well.


If I remember correctly, there was a classic short science fiction story that involved a bit of sex too. I believe it was from the collection Battlefields Beyond Tomorrow.


Like she said, the longer the better. ;-)


"To boldly stick one's penis where no man has stuck his penis before."


"To boldly receive freaky alien dongs where no woman has received freaky alien dongs before."


"To boldly swing both ways, where no one has swung both ways before. Though, if it's with aliens, then maybe that's actually a third way. I don't know. I'm not prepared to answer such complicated questions about sexual identity. Honestly, I'm still not even sure I understand earthly sexuality. I mean, some people have sex with cars. Someone explain that to me. On second thought, please don't."


"To boldly fuck. Everyone. Literally everyone."


Just wanted to cover all my bases. Personally, I like the last one the most.


PG, from the 60's to 80's, pulp sci fi had LOTS of banging going on.


"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. All kinds of fun happens when they meet on Uranus."


ive seen similar, actually, in one of those pulps. it was, and the party is on Uranus.


I wish I could remember which story it was specifically out of that collection. I know for sure that it isn't Night of the Trolls, Superiority, or Committee of the Whole (which is at least good for a laugh post-9/11).


It was after humanity's first contact while exploring some other solar system. Then, as if Earth lacked any formal military tradition before this, they have to build up a military force to fight in space. Not sure what it will be like, they conscript a bunch of random genius young men and women, have them undergo arduous physical training, then ship them off to the moon for actual training in space using spacesuits that function slightly as low grade power armor (no flight or built-in weapons). You know, instead of seeing if any of the men and women in the world's navies, air forces, army, or various space organizations might have the proper experience and physical conditioning already. That's especially odd given NASA's close relationship with the USAF.


Anyway, all the women get passed around because free sex future and there's no repercussions when the training methods wind up killing some of the trainees. That's just how things are. Also, in a bit of a spoiler on a 50 year old story, they've had all the cadets brainwashed by hypnotists who implant xenophobic responses and imagery into their brains, including sounded like tentacle hentai, in order to make them more willing to lose self control and go into a murderous rage around the aliens. The ones they have yet to even find a way to communicate with.


Good job drafting college-age people for their intelligence only to completely take that advantage away from them whenever you go to send them into battle. Why couldn't they have just picked up Bubba, given him a spacesuit with a Confederate flag on it, and told him the aliens wanted to destroy his muddin' truck? (I used to live next to this person I just described, save for the spacesuit).


PS. I need to work more on being concise.