Most bizarre Worm review yet.

Lessons in cultural appropriation from BuddhaBob.

There are many ways to think of Worm, but I confess "elaborate metaphor about/critique of American culture" was not one that occurred to me.

what.... the.... FUCK?

I mean, yes, there were news events of things that happened, issues going on, that were used in worm, the Gitmo one being an obvious one, but... "the hate groups are ridiculed" crossed with "speak to a REAL american, not one that has been brainwashed" tells so much.

Ooo, the warming glow of utter hypocrisy. Someone from 'murica making blanket statements about Canuckistanians, while yelling at Canuckistanians for making blanket statements about 'muricanians.

Sounds a lot like someone bleached their pubes, got them stapled into a comb-over on their scalp, donned their "Make Gitmo Great Again" t-shirt (with only a few barbecue stains on it from last Fourth of July), adorned themselves in their stars and stripes, then is proceeding to hump the crap out of the Statue of Liberty's big toe. Power to you, splash your freedom all over that constitution. Make the spirit of Benjamin Franklin moan in ephemeral ecstasy at the sight of your concealed-carry license. Blast your over-inflated fiat-currency based on arab oil and fractional-lending across the globalist-fleeced catacombs of Fort Knox. Mount your mighty wall on the erect, patriotic shafts of creepy Republicans who prance around the woods of Sonoma County naked pretending to be druids. m/

Ow, I just bit my tongue because it was so firmly planted in my cheek.

Anywho, Fat-Bald-and-Magical Bob can have whatever opinion he wants of Worm. Everyone has strong reactions to art. Hell, I even ended up in a six-hour rant about tactics after reading a chapter from Twig a month or so ago. Mostly because a character was standing with a bunch of other characters trying to ambush some baddies and then going on into pages-long speeches about what they were going to do, and not to cry. After the umpteenth paragraph I just wanted the baddies to put a bullet in the character's head already.

I know a British dude who went on a tirade about EU trade policy after listening to "Baby" by Justin Bieber. It happens. Everyone has their reactions to art (no matter how irrational) and power to them for it.

That said... Beautifully-Rotund-and-Enlightened Bob might want to realize he's reading a Young Adult Modern Fantasy story and not something written by Hunter S. Thompson or Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Oh, and most of us Maple-Toquers don't have Civics classes because our education system doesn't involve McCarthy-era propaganda in secondary education. Instead, we get to hear about a bunch of French arseholes being mean to our First Peoples in Social Studies. A bunch of superhero-loving teens probably have as much care about illegal military-industrial-complex-run torture prisons placed in economically-dominated countries due to extreme civic cowardice and gross political scheming, than... Well... The average 'muricanian knows how the 'Manifesto on Freedom of the Nobility' affected the nobility of Russia. Or where Kazakhstan is located on a globe.

In short, it's a damn story. It's meant to be entertaining and a diversion from the ultimate shittiness of life. But, well, I guess this dude prefers to read the Warren Report for kicks instead. Good luck on that.

Since I'm still riled up and being sassy about being rolled up in a blanket for my federally-imposed nationality...

On behalf of all of us collectivized Canadians... You're welcome for us burning down your White House in 1812. We were drunk too, btw. ^_^


It is indeed the most bizarre worm review on this side. Do we give it a price? Do we send the auteur to Guantamano for re-education?

Just sad there's not much actual critique going on in that piece of writing, just lots of whining how someone hurt his feelings. :(

Is this even a review? It reads more like a rant by someone who skimmed through a story and picked out the parts that offended him (note that I can see this clear as day, and I haven't even read Worm).

It's a bizarre, multi-layered piece of hypocrisy as well. On one level, he criticizes Canada for criticizing the US, and does so in the same way he's complaining about. Two, he makes overwhelmingly positive, blanket statements about his country regarding controversial subjects. Then he signs it off as being from the country as a whole, despite this country having hundreds of millions of residents who are so diverse in opinions that a single Midwestern city can't even agree on how to build an airport. And he does this at the same time he is criticizing Canada as a whole (not the author, who is the only real person responsible for Worm) for not doing research on America.

Arguably though, the part that bugged me the most was him complaining about how the US works in reality regarding the justice system and government... despite corruption and violation of rights being common in the genre of fiction Worm seems to be (X-Men, anyone?)

Yeah... that guy clearly put way too much thought into that review. Granted, he's right in the whole statement of "This Is Not How 'Murica Works" (speaking of- even if Worm was anti-American social commentary, that's *not what Civics means*... and is there anywhere in America that actually teaches civics, anymore? I mean, as a core course, not some optional junior college filler material) ... but... there's a difference between 'ignorance of a culture' and 'grand social commentary'.

Worm's writing doesn't strike me as the latter. The plot is far too sloppy and convoluted (again, like HP) for there to be the level of Sophisticated Deep Commentary BuddhaBob's attributing to it.

It, much like Harry Potter, was clearly written For Fun, nothing more. And it accomplished the goal. To judge it on any other criteria is Missing The Point Entirely. Be like criticizing Stardew Valley for not having Call of Duty graphics and combat mechanics.

Geez that is one stupid review. "Transferring schools is easy," sounds like someone who has never dealt with abuse and having to transfer schools. That moronic thing about SWAT teams handling bank robberies instead of people with superpowers kinda misses the point of there being differences in a world with superpowers. And American curiosity meaning widespread knowledge about triggers? FFS, we have diseases making a comeback here because some of us got misled about vaccines, while large portions of us are ignoring the consensus of 98% of climate scientists. Most of us don't even accept evolution here.

If that asshole gets to claim he represents the United States, then I get to as well. I'm the United States. I'm real America, the one who sees the country and people in it for its many, many flaws. See, some people love America like a kid loves Mommy. Mommy can do no wrong, Mommy is always right. But others of us love America as adults, recognizing its flaws and knowing it can be better. Hell, even those guys who wanted to build a shining city on a hill didn't look at the wilderness around them and go "This is the greatest country already; no need for anymore progress!"

Good job, Wildbow. That BuddhaBob's wrong. No disservice to be found here. Considering the intervening years, I think the problems highlighted have only been thrust into even more prominence.

P.S.: Why the fuck is some stereotypical Ugly American going around with "Buddha" in the name anyway? The country's like 70% Christian.

P.P.S: Sovereign, we let you burn down the White House. It was obviously just an elaborate trap to lure you into a position to end the war with us in a Draw. Which means our strategy succeeded and we won.

I found the review(though rantings of a madman/offended person seems more appropriate label)it good read to wake up too because the amount of bewilderment I felt had about the same effect as me drinking a cup of green tea. Only that it worked faster.

Lmao!! He's gotta be trolling. Right...?

That would be even stupider than if he was serious.

Gecko ,

That's two half star reviews in quick succession, I can't help but wonder if they are related. There must be some strong emotions involved for someone to dish out a half star for any story, though I'm not going to venture on the reasons.

Huh. You're right, Chrys - both touch on some of the same things, too, and they have quite a number of people who found them to be very useful and good reviews.

I wonder if I offended a group of people on the internet somewhere or if it's one person on a mission. I have some suspicions about what they're about, going by the 'racists are just scared victims of society' slant, but eh.

I think the most bizarre yet was the guy who was spam-posting the same review everywhere. I won't get into what it covered, as it might be against forum rules or make people uncomfortable, but it's still on Worm's TV tropes, I think. Essentially, 'Worm is 100% about encouraging [specific crime]'. He was really insistent about it.

Wasn't really a review, and fell well short of the review guidelines displayed right below the review box. I've removed the text from the site and have returned it to the author.

Oh, and Chrysalis: good instincts. Same IP posted both reviews.

If the review has been returned, something tells me we're about to get some rather unintelligent attention around here. Wouldn't be surprised if a Youtube video is made. I know that sounds sarcastic, but some of those sorts tend to have a surprisingly large and rabid fanbase willing to attack people for it.

Here's hoping I'm wrong.

Also, Alexander:

Hah, I had a feeling. Even the usernames for both reviews were written in a similar style.

*puts on her Sherlock hat*

It's called a deerstalker, you Philistine!

*writes angry, 12 page review about how Anathema is pushing proto-communism through interpretive dance*